Group C - United States (Part 1)

Group C

England

United States

Algeria

Slovenia

Subtitle: Why the US Isn’t Better at Soccer

Nickname: The Yanks (I’m pretty sure this was a derogatory name given to us by the socialist commie Euros, but now we own it with pride)

Colors: Red, white, blue (dumbass!)

Current World Ranking: 16

Manager: Bob Bradley

Bradley was named interim manager in December of ’06 after the US’s horrid performance in the ’06 Cup in Germany under the tutelage and douchebaggery of Bruce Arenas. Bradley was not supposed to be ther permanent coach as the US was trying to hire ex-German coach, Jurgen Klinsman, but apparently no one ever told Bradley that because he set out to form a strong team around a base of young players and actually beat rivals Mexico 2-1 in a friendly that winter. Talks with Kilnsman fell through so Bradley was named top dog permanently in May of ’07. In his first year he went 12-5-1, including 10 straight games undefeated and two wins over Mexico.

Bradley has his supporters as well as his detractors. He’s marked his tenure by capping an exceptional number of young players which has both benefited the team by uncovering absolute gems like Jozy Altidore and Charlie Davies, while also hurting the team because of a lack of consistency and identity. Under his watch more players have made the move from the MLS to international clubs than ever before, which is a testament to the growing quality of the team.

Perhaps my biggest criticism of Bradley is his stubbornness to stick with his son, Michael, as the central midfielder. He’s good, but he’s not great, and when you look at the central midfielders of the world – Gerrard, Lampard, Messi, Xavi, Iniesta, - Bradley just doesn’t cut it. The thing is, who is better for the US? I honestly don’t know but Bob Bradley has had 4 years to find that guy and develop him but instead we’re stuck with his son who is not that guy. Four years from now I may be eating my words, and honestly, hopefully I’m eating my words in 9 weeks, but I just don’t think he’s there yet.

History: Despite appearing in the first ever World Cup in 1930 and upsetting England in the 1950 Cup, the US Men’s National Team as we know it really didn’t exist until 1989. The US hosted the Cup in 1994, amid much criticism from the international community because the US lacked a competitive league and didn’t have dedicated soccer stadiums. We performed well though, drawing Switzerland in the opening match, beating Columbia 2-1 in the second thanks to an own goal by Andres Escobar, who was later murdered in Columbia, presumably in retaliation for the goal, and losing to Romania in the final game. It was enough to advance to the Round of 16 where we lost to eventual champs, Brazil, 1-0. In contrast the ’98 Cup in France was a complete embarrassment as the US lost all three of our group matches to Germany, Yugoslavia, and a nuclear-free Iran, which no doubt was a precursor to them making our top three list of Axis of Evil nations.

The 2003 Cup in South Korea was a huge step forward for the team as we shocked Portugal in the opening game, 3-2, tied South Korea 1-1, and lost to Poland 3-1, which was enough to allow us to advance to the knockout round to face arch-rivals, Mexico, who we beat 2-0 before losing to eventual runners-up, Germany in the Quarters.

That was then followed by another debacle in 2006 in Germany where we got annihilated by the Czech Republic in the first match, drew eventual champs Italy 1-1 in the second thanks only to a red card and an own goal, then got embarrassed by Ghana 2-1. 

All told the US has qualified for 9 Cups, second only to Mexico in the CONCACAF, and 6 in a row.

Why the US Isn’t Better at Soccer: The United States has the best athletes in the world in most every sport – football, basketball, baseball, (second best) hockey, swimming, speed skating, and a multitude of other winter and summer Olympics. So why is it that we still kind of suck at soccer? We are the richest nation, with the biggest economy, and a huge population; so why do we still kind of suck? A few theories:

-Support: A sub-question to why we kind of suck is, why is soccer not more popular in the US than it is? It’s the most popular sport in the world, why not in the US? For one, Americans are stubborn bastards who hate foreign influence. When Europe and the rest of the world was playing soccer we were saying, “Screw you Euro socialists and commies, we’re playing football, basketball and baseball.” Another reason has to do with the socio-economics of the sport. In every other country in the world soccer is the sport of the working class. The players come from the working class, the fans come from the working class, and the support of the club and country comes from the working class. Yes, money and influence come for the middle and upper classes, but without the working class there is no sport. The same is true in America, except here the working class supports football, basketball, and to a lesser extent now, baseball. Look at “America’s” teams – the Pittsburgh Steelers; Cleveland Browns; Green Bay Packers; Chicago Cubs; Boston Red Sox – these teams enjoy unprecedented support even when the teams suck, even for long spells, or even for eternity in the case of the Browns. Why is that? Because they are all working class cities with a huge working class fan base. The corporate exec is going to go to a football game and sit in the nice box seat that his company pays for when the team is winning; the foundry worker is going to spend half his paycheck to sit in the bleachers in the middle of winter with his shirt off and the team’s logo painted on his chest even when they’re losing. In America soccer has always been a suburban, middle class sport. Soccer moms, mini-vans, soccer camp, orange slices at half time of games – it’s all middle class. Without the support of the working class, soccer will never fully catch on.

-American Exceptionalism: Another reason for the lack of support and lack of quality from the US team is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy – Americans like winners; when you win you get support; when you get support you win. American soccer hasn’t won much of anything so they don’t get the support they need and therefore don’t win more. This idea of American Exceptionalism has come up a lot lately, especially in politics – America is exceptional and must be exceptional and in order to be so exceptional we need to have the biggest economy, consume the most resources, have the biggest military, the most nukes, the best doctors and teachers, the most schools and colleges, we have to go into space, manufacture the best cars, etc. etc. If we don’t we will no longer be exceptional and if we’re no longer exceptional… Sports shouldn’t mix with politics but the same idea of exceptionalism is true in American sports, just look at the Olympics – we have to win the most medals and when we do the athletes are heroes and when we don’t they are forgotten. The same is true for soccer – if they win they will be exceptional and America will love them. If they don’t, they’ll be forgotten. That said, more World Cup tickets have been sold to Americans than any other nation, so hopefully that means the country is ready for the team to be exceptional. I’m certainly ready.

-Talent: Because America’s soccer players come almost exclusively from the middle class and because they grow up also playing basketball, football, baseball, and any other number of sports, the actual pool of talent that America’s national soccer team has to pull from is very, very shallow.

-The MLS Still Kind of Sucks: Major League Soccer has done wonders for United States soccer. Formed in 1993 it finally gave a place for US soccer players coming out of college to play. It’s also provided a platform for US players to get abroad and really develop their skills. But the reality is the MLS can’t compete with the leagues of Europe yet. It’s far better now than it was when it started, but to put it in perspective Liverpool FC was formed in 1892 – a full century before the MLS. That’s a lot of history to catch up to.

-Style: The reason that Brazil and Argentina are so good is the same reason America isn’t. Brazilians and Argentineans play all over the world, pick up all the international skills and secrets around the planet, then come back to Brazil and Argentina and combine that with their Brazilian and Argentinean styles that they grew up playing. The US players compete all over the world, but when they come home, there is no common style for them bond around. A kid that grew up on the east coast plays a different style to the kid that grew up on the west coast then one of those kids plays in Belgium while the other plays in Portugal so when they come together one might as well be playing Sega while the other is playing Nintendo. I think the US has come a long way in recent years towards defining an “American” style, but they’re not quite there yet.

2009 Confederations Cup: Last summer the US participated in the Confederations Cup, which is a pre-World Cup tournament hosted by the hosts of the upcoming WC and features the host nation, the current Cup holders, and the top team in each of the 6 confederations. So the US was joined by South Africa, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Egypt, Iraq and New Zealand. The US had an amazing tournament and finished second, narrowly losing to Brazil 3-2 in the finals, and upsetting the number 1 team in the world, Spain, in the process, which earned them an ESPY for upset of the year. The game against Spain and the first half against Brazil was the first time I’ve seen the US play and thought, “We’re ready. We’re finally ready for the big time.” Not to piss on the parade though, taking a closer look at the whole tournament exposes the dichotomy of the US team. We lost the opening match to Italy 3-1 and were pretty much completely outplayed except for a few moments. We then got thrashed by Brazil in a spectacle that was reminiscent of getting a swirly in the toilet courtesy of the older bullies in elementary school. We then stepped up against Egypt, winning 3-0 and only advanced to the next round thanks to Brazil thrashing Italy 3-0 and the goal difference we secured by scoring one against Italy. It was the next game against Spain where we really earned our stripes. Yes it was an upset; yes Spain will call it a fluke; but we took it to them for 90 minutes and thanks to some brilliant play by everyone including our keeper, Tim Howard, we won 2-0. We then waltzed into the final and sucker punched Brazil right in the nads by going up by 2 goals before halftime. At that intermission you would have thought we belonged there, and I did think that. But then Brazil came out and showed why they’ve won more Cups than anyone else by scoring 3 goals in the second half and pretty much giving us a wedgie in front of all the cute 4^th grade girls - but not just a wedgie; the type of wedgie where they actually rip the band right off your underwear. It was sobering to say the least.

After the Confederations Cup when we all had time to reflect I came to the realization that this is what we need – it’s not enough for us to kick around the competition in North and Central America. We need to play the South Americans and Europeans more. Sometimes we’ll get our asses kicked and sometime we’ll kick their asses but in either case we’ll be better for it.

Qualification: The US has done a pretty good job of dominating the CONCACAF region for the past two decades, winning 4 Gold Cups in the process and finishing no worse than 3^rd in each of the tournaments since 1991. The only team with a better record in the region is Mexico with 5, including the aforementioned 5-0 drubbing they administered against us last year on our home soil. Still, the US has been ranked first in the region overall for the past several years.

Qualification wasn’t a breeze for us but we finished atop the Confederation ahead of Mexico and Honduras with 6 wins, 2 draws and 2 losses. Overall it was a good performance, especially considering the vast number of players used by Bradley and the sometimes grueling schedule for our top players that have to fly back and forth from Europe to compete in the international matches.