Group A - Mexico

Group A

South Africa

Mexico

Uruguay

France

Nickname: El Tri (Tricolors of the Mexican flag)

Colors: Green, Red, White

Current World Ranking: 15

Manager: Javier Aquirre – In his second stint as the Mexican manager he was brought in this time to reinvigorate a team that had lost it’s luster in the past few years. He’s had great success but is perhaps now best known for a bizarre incident that occurred in July 2009 in a Gold Cup game against Panama when he kicked one of the Panamania players and was subsequently ejected and banned for 3 games. Aside from that he’s a no nonsense coach that demands nothing less than the full commitment of his team.

History: Let me state this as plainly as I can: I hate the Mexican National Team.

To be clear, my hatred has absolutely nothing to do with regional politics, immigration, drug trafficking, human trafficking, borders, walls, burritos, tamalies, tacos, Cinco de Mayo, or anything else. I just simply hate the Mexican National Team. It’s quite basic: Mexico has been the US’s main regional competition for the past 40 years and the conflict between the two national teams couldn’t be more epic, historic, or tumultuous.

Here are just a few reasons why:

-Mexico has dominated the US in their overall history, winning 31 games, losing 16, and drawing 10 but the US has owned Mexico in the last decade with a record of 10-4-2.

-In the 2002 World Cup in South Korea, Mexico won their Group then faced the US in the round of 16, which the US won 2-0 to advance to the Quarters.

-The US beat Mexico 2-1 in the finals of the CONCACAF Gold Cup in 2007.

-Mexico thrashed the US 5-0 in the finals of the 2009 Gold Cup at Giants Stadium.

-Mexico beat the US in a qualifying game last August in Estadio Azteca in Mexico City where the US has never won in 43 years. Whenever Landon Donovan would set up to take a corner kick the Mexican fans would shower him with cups of their own urine. You read that correctly – urine. Apparently the Mexican fans have something in common with Jets fans. If it wasn’t already evident, next to probably George W Bush, Donovan is the most hated man in all of Mexico. Not only has he torched El Tri time and time again, a few years ago he was caught on tape taking a piss on their hallowed pitch during training before a match. Just to be clear, that would be like Osama Bin Laden walking into New York City and dropping a deuce on ground zero. Was that insensitive? Perhaps. But it wasn’t an exaggeration.

Even though Mexico qualified from CONCACAF in second place behind the US, their road to the WC Finals was anything but easy. They went through 3 managers – Mexican legends Hugo Sanchez and Jesus Ramirez, and Swedish weirdo Sven-Goran Eriksson - and more than one extremely uneasy moment as it took them nearly every game of qualifying to make it through. But, while a team’s qualifying record could be a huge indicator as to their performance in the Finals, all bets are off when you get to the last 32 in South Africa.

They’ve qualified for 13 World Cups and consecutively since 1994. Their best finishes were the Quarterfinals in 1970 and 1986, both held in Mexico.

 

In 2006 they were only the second CONCACAF team to ever earn one of the 8 seeds. They were able to advance out of their group along with Portugal but ran into Argentina in the Round of 16. Regulation ended at 1-1 then Argentina scored in the second extra time, ending Mexico’s best chance at advancing deeper into the Finals.

Players: All but a few of the national players compete with clubs in Mexico. While the Mexican soccer league isn’t necessarily competitive with the big European leagues, it is perhaps the best league in Central and North America. The benefit to the national team is a team full of guys that all play the same style of football in the same domestic league with a Mexican coach that understands that style. That’s invaluable. A lot of other teams struggle because their players compete all over the world with all different kinds of styles and are coached by someone from Europe or South America who tries to get them to play like Europeans or South Americans. It’s not a good formula.

Overall the team is very young and inexperienced on the international level, with just a handful of experienced veterans.

Rafael Marquez: A tough defender that plays for Barcelona in Spain. He’s played for Mexico for the past 13 years and is finally ready to hang up the international boots after this World Cup. At 31 years of age he’ll bring experience to a team that really needs it.

Cuauhtemoc Blanco: I hate this guy. Oh man, do I hate this guy. Just look at him; he looks like he kills and eats babies. At 37 years old he’s absolutely ancient in the soccer world but he’s still considered to be a very likely factor in Mexico’s World Cup this year. He has over 100 caps to his name and was featured in the ’98 and ’02 World Cups. He was left off the 2006 controversially because of disputes with the manager at the time. He spent the past several years playing for the Chicago Fire in the MLS where he was banned from the US Open Cup competition for two years after he punched a player in the stomach then poked him in the eye and then head butted an employee of the team who was leading him off the pitch. Just recently he left the team to play for Veracruz in Mexico in order to be fit for the tournament. While this has nothing to do with his ability as a soccer player, which is considerable, I once saw an ESPN special where a young boy with a terminal disease got to meet Blanco as part of the Make A Wish foundation. The kid couldn’t have been more excited and Blanco couldn’t have been more annoyed. He literally had a look on his face that suggested he was thinking, “You honestly took me away from my cocaine for this shit? The kid looks fine. He’s not even sick. Why are you wasting my time with this.” Whatever. Rest assured, as much of an ass as this guy is, if he’s at the World Cup he’ll have an impact. That’s a guarantee.

Javier Hernandez: One of two young strikers that is helping Mexico regain some of its trademark offensive flair, Hernandez is only 21 and is currently the leading goal scorer in Mexico’s top division playing for Chivas Guadalajara. He also recently scored for Mexico in a friendly against New Zealand.

Carlos Vela: While he hasn’t gotten a lot of playing time in England at Arsenal, he has had the opportunity to train with some of the best strikers in the world like Andre Arshavin and Robin van Persie. Also 21, Vela was the second goal scorer in that same friendly against New Zealand.

Prediction: Mexico should easily advance to the knockout round, likely in second place behind France, but this group is perhaps the most unpredictable of the bunch and Mexico’s propensity for self-implosion is legendary, so don’t be surprised if they bow out early here. Their biggest test will be the opening match against South Africa. If they can shed their past inconsistency, overcome the pressure of playing the host nation in the opening match, and take 3 points from that game, they will certainly make it through to the next round. Anything less than a win though, and it could be curtains for El Tri, which is fine by me because I’m pissing on a photo of Cuauhtemoc Blanco as we speak.